Web

SVU Review
“Web” 7.21
May 15, 2006

Here we go again! This is the episode that will supposedly bring Mariska Hargitay, aka Olivia Benson out from hiding in Computer Crimes. The only problem is, we’re starting the episode, and Olivia hasn’t really gone away yet! She asked for a new partner in “Fault”, yet in “Fat”, the very next episode, she appears very frequently. More frequently than Munch or Fin or Casey! And she’s supposed to be gone! Is she going to have the baby on the show too?

10:11 EST, there’s a mention of Computer Crimes. That means Olivia is coming! Yay! Because we haven’t seen her for…five minutes. Those were the longest five minutes of everyone’s life, I’m sure.

Early in the episode we can tell that this teen has some issues. He’s too detached. Non-interactive. Seclusive. Is SVU going to deal with the abused becoming the abuser? Again? It’s a great emotional storyline, but we’ve seen it just one too many times.

10:22 EST: Another Computer Crimes mention. When is she coming back?! I need to see her!!

“A minor shooting kiddie porn. That’s a new one.” – Elliot.

Yeah it is! At least they are diverting from their normal take on abuser/abusee a little bit. However, Morales’s following statistic was not strategically placed. When you’re talking about child abusers and such, it’s not really a good time to stick in random internet statistics.

One of my biggest problems with this episode has to be how CSU Tech Morales was uber involved, while Munch, Fin and Casey were pretty much no where to be seen. Why is the Tech Guy getting major scenes? He’s not in the credits is he? That is not to say I want him added to the credits, no siree. But, why is the computer guy all of a sudden in on interrogations? If the squad wants to use information found by him and put him on the stand, go for it. But how about putting a lawyer in the interrogation room or how about another cop?

Also, why give the “my relative was abused” storyline to Morales? It would have been so much more interesting to see the storyline on Casey, or… Casey, since everyone else already has a connection to SVU. Furthermore, a nephew just isn’t close enough. Son, daughter, mother, father, best friend, etc. would have made for a more compelling storyline. Morales beating up the perp really did nothing more than to further upset me and wish it was Casey.

And now Elliot is taking suggestions from… Langan?! Mr. Alex-Is-Dining-With-The-Enemy Langan? Ok, honestly, if the story had fully encompassed Munch, Fin and Casey, I wouldn’t have a problem. But all of a sudden, Langan and Morales are calling the shots. Where’s Cragen with his licorice?!

“I wasn’t planning on coming back!” –Olivia
“It’s in your blood.” – Elliot
“That’s the problem.” – Olivia

Yes that IS the problem. I couldn’t tell that Olivia wasn’t planning on coming back because, yes you guessed it, she never left! She couldn’t even stay away for an entire episode. My notes immediately following Olivia’s announcement at the very end that she is “returning”, and I quote:

“WHAT THE HELL?! WHY DID YOU EVEN BOTHER?”

How, in all that is sacred in storytelling, can we explain that mess? Not only did the writers begin by botching Olivia’s absence, but it doesn’t even explain what it was meant to: Mariska’s pregnancy! “Fault” was supposed to be her last pre-baby hurrah, but instead, we got hit with a whole bunch of chest up shots (at least there weren’t anymore ornaments) and a returning Olivia. Now Wolf and Company have to come up with some (equally as stupid and pointless I’m sure) plotline that explains Mariska/Olivia’s absence. I guarantee it will be something along the lines of “On a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, undercover assignment.”

Also, why then was “Fault” largely advertised as Mariska/Olivia’s last episode before the baby boom? All this confusion and anger could have been avoided with a simple “Mariska will be with us until the end of the season.” All this in effect renders the “Fault” plot pointless. “Officer” was “down” for a period of five seconds, and the wound wasn’t even deep enough to require immediate medical attention. And it caused all sorts of unneeded problems for Elliot and Olivia’s partnership.

I think Wolf is taking the “lets see some more of their personal life” thing a little too seriously. So seriously, in fact, that an actual plot has been abandoned and replaced with “lets see how many Unstabler moments and/or Olivia emotional moments we can fit into one episode.” We do want some personal stuff, we really do. Just not this much! Bring the focus back to the cases first. None of this Elliot/Olivia saga crap. Then, after you rediscover the goodness that is seasons 1-5, start to incorporate a personal storyline in. Little things, like a Munch/ Solway scene. Only with different characters. And not the same plot.

I was also set to recommend a crossover with Conviction, but that ship has apparently sailed. That isn’t to say though that Alex couldn’t come back with another episode now that she is “officially” out of Witness Protection. Kill two birds with one stone and explain how in the world she got there!

I am still not sure what I thought of this episode. The plot was halfway decent, but it was overshadowed by the Elliot/Olivia saga. Olivia needs to make up her mind and Techie Morales needs to GO AWAY. And we need to stop writing CSU techs and CSIs and EMTs and MP3s into the storylines. Put Munch, Casey and Fin in first! Extras later.

Make up your mind, Wolf! It’s not a soap opera, it’s a crime drama!

Deliverance

"You don't understand women, do you Mr. Steele?"

What a way to start off the episode. Oh, how I could go on for hours and hours just analyzing that one quote right there. He obviously doesn't

understand women. Most men don't. But Jim Steele, he is more clueless than most. His idea of a solid relationship at this point is a series of sexcapades with Jessica, a one night stand with Alex. Wash, rinse, repeat.

"Let me guess. Fear of intimacy. Lots of sex. But no love."

Wow. She just hit the nail on the head. Twice. Does someone know where I can reach this woman so that I can hug her?

"You're a fool to represent yourself."
"If you're all they've got, then I'm a genius."

Hey, I won't argue with that right now. Good job on this scene, I would have never noticed the difference. Sly smile, piercing eyes, killer smile. I can't notice the diference between perp and defense lawyer, can you?

I don't think I'm going out on a limb saying that Steele is in a hot spot. Harassment allegations can put a serious wrench in any case, even if they aren't true. The jury will keep an extra close watch on the goings on after those types of allegations. But wait, having Christina on second chair is blowing the problem out of proportion? If Chris wasn't a good lawyer, she wouldn't have her job. Jim does have a serious problem with women.

Seriously. Yale undergrad, Yale law... Chris is smokin'!

On the other side of the equation though, Chris... you have to remember that you are in the hotseat now!! Everyone will be watching you, even when you don't think they are, and especially when you don't want them to be watching. But, the roll eyes/groan combo was good. It worked for me!

"I've known Steele for several years. He treats women with dignity and respect."
Whoa rewind and press that pause button! Since when? When do we get to see this Steele? Will the real Jim Steele please stand up? Oh and Jim? She just owned you in that courtroom. And the judge did ask. So shut up and sit down.

Are Jess and Steele on the ropes? From that look that Jess just gave Chris, I'd say she's not so sure about what's happening between them. But Chris and Jess are nice and buddy buddy. Works for me! Doesn't the asking permission to speak line remind everyone of an SVU episode? "Now you may dialogue." Yeah. If Steele says that to Chris, I will be verrrrrry angry. I would urge Chris to knock him one.

"I'm here to talk about the penis"
Not a line you hear everyday. Except at restaurants with Casey Novak. But another story for another time. It kept my attention though, so I bet it caught the attention of many others!

"Most men don't sprint down the street after consensual sex."
Er... except Steele maybe.
"Depends on what she looks like."
No he didn't!!! He just really said that? I gotta hand it to Wolf, he knows how to push all the WRONG buttons... and apparently all of Jessica's too!

She's not liking that comment any more than... any other sane person would.

Why is Alex all up and up on the political bench now? And what the hell is up with her hair? Before any hint of Scotch would have sent her running in the opposite direction. The lawyer not knowing his client's NAME would have had her making motions all over the place (and winning them at that!) What's happened?

Ok. Props to Wolf, never seen a mother, or any parent, interrogating their own kid on the stand. Something new, I like it. Strange line of questioning though... what does a personality disorder have to do with witnissing a crime?

Jess/Chris subtext. What are we gunna do with the office romances? Make them all interesting that's what!

Ok. Right after the court scene with Rossi in court, PAUSE!!! Alex's face caused me to fall off my chair!!! Now, is she jealous of JIm or Jess? Cause she's staring at that paper pretty intently...On anther note, Jess, she's never going to help you. I dont know why. But she's not.

WOW!!!! That was better than the "Shortcomings" thing from SVU!!!! I don't think we've EVER had a lawyer ask a defendent to show the jury his penis. BRAVO WOLF!!

Yeah. I'm with Chris on the eye raising thing. Wayyyy up there.

Jess is not happy. Not happy at all. I hate it when old... and I mean old, friends help eachother out. especially in the law profession. And of course she didn't listen to Alex. I mean what self respecting lawyer is going to now? Not many.

Chris is the girl next door. I think we can all peaceably agree on that fact. And Jim is the arrogant SOB that she makes him out to be... And yet the girl next door just wipes the floor with the closing arguement. And she wins. Her first murder trial, and she sails right through. (Mentioning the testimony is an excused mishap in my book.)

I don't think Jess was expecting that hug that she got at the end there. I don't think she expects any hug, ever. She definitely wasn't hugged enough growing up.

Awww look. Jim does have a soft side. Who knew? He should show it more often, maybe people would be a little more inclined to actually like the guy if he did. And if he keeps having private conversations with Alex all the time, I'm going to have to smack him. I may also have to smack him for that smack he layed on Jess outside the courthouse. Just because you can now have as much PDA as you want doesn't mean we want to see it. You still need to get a room. Oh, and we don't like the butt tap thing that the guys do.

Overall, a good episode. Good cases, but lets move on from the Steele/Jess storyline, shall we?

Fat Review

There's a lot to say about this one, so sit back and enjoy the show. But I'd lay off the popcorn.


SVU Review
“Fat” 7.21
05.02.06

I’m wearing my Alex Cabot glasses tonight during “Fat”, in the hopes that they will help me catch some hidden treasure in this episode.

So, this is Elliot’s new partner, hm? Detective Lucius (what?) Blaine, Queens Special Victims Unit. He’s harsh, cold, closed, and it seems like he’s scared to open up to the cases. All work and no compassion. Not a good mix for a cop, especially an SVU detective. It is suspicious that they never mention how long this Blaine fellow has been on the job. He’s certainly not like any other SVU detective we have seen before. Or will hopefully ever see again.

He pretty much jumped a bystander, offered immunity to a discriminator, and dethroned Elliot as the bastard of the episode. Big undertaking for an hour. I would not be surprised if he is the kind of detective that never gets personally involved in the cases, and always tries to snap the law to get his way. Huh, does this remind us slightly of anyone we know?

Blaine made Elliot seem like a saint in this episode. Quick and smart thinking on his part to try and save the finger.

Does Elliot know that Olivia wanted a reassignment? I guess not. I’m only halfway surprised that they transferred Olivia and not Elliot, given her connection to the cases and her personal reason for joining SVU. However, maybe that’s exactly the reason they transferred her and not Elliot, because she was too close to the job. It could also be simply because she asked for the transfer and not Elliot. And oh yeah, Mariska is pregnant. They needed to send her somewhere, why not… across the hall?

Blaine really got on my nerves in this episode. What is his place to call Elliot on how he operates? He’s been working with the man for less than 24 hours, and he apparently can’t see his own issues. They’re concerning me more than Elliot’s problems right now. Because then he has the audacity to question Olivia. That is where Elliot, and I think all of us, draw the line. Talk down to someone to the face? Ok, fine. Behind their back? No way. At least Elliot was provoked into the hitting routine this time. It makes it just a tiny bit more explainable.

However, that said, Olivia completely deserved to be walked out on. First, you ask for reassignment without even telling your partner. I know the entire point was to get away from him for a little while, but jeez, common courtesy? Maybe a “Hey, I’m being transferred for a few weeks, catch you on the flip side”? Elliot defended Olivia’s honor in those squad hallways. He’d do it again too, if someone questioned her. I wonder if she ever considered that they have stayed partners for those seven years because their compatible with each other? It’s not often that you find just anyone that you are willing to trust with your life. Cops do it every day, but they don’t trust just any old person, either, the instant that they are placed with them. It takes time to develop trust, and I have a feeling Olivia and Elliot are going to have to start all over again in that department.


It’s Analyze Elliot in the Squadroom Day! Honestly, if you haven’t picked up on the fact that Elliot is unstable or that he has anger issues, you’re way too far gone to be caught up. We don’t need Elliot’s partner, his captain, his former partner, and every other Joe Schmoe to confirm it.

“What, did Dick Cheny shoot someone else?”

The. Best. Quote. Of. The. Entire. Season. No competition anywhere in sight for that one.

Ok, now are all SVU detectives oblivious, or is it just ours? This is the second time a victim (or in the first case, the father of a victim) has shot a suspect in a secure location. It’s not like it was even out on the street. First time it was in a courthouse, second time in the precinct! There are plenty of cops around. Did they honestly think that Rudi was taking it as well as he seemed? Especially after telling him that there wasn’t enough evidence to hold his attacker, there should have been a detective with him to escort him home.

Objection! Babble in the courtroom. Do we need to know every meal he had, when he ate it, what his favorite TV show was when he was eating it? What does that remotely have to do with the case? He shot a suspect (who the DA didn’t even have enough evidence to officially call him a suspect) point blank after hearing that there probably wouldn’t be much of a case. And the defense is trying to fight this, why? Nobody can get a defense like that past Casey Novak. Big thanks go to Casey for finally saying something and shutting up the lawyer. After 20 minutes. I was about ready to punch my TV set in.

“Wonderful. I goaded our little friend until he snapped.”

Repeat after me. “I am only the prosecutor. I’m only the prosecutor.” You can’t save them all Casey, especially when they murder someone in a police station full of cops.

It’s an amazing concept really. The writers get Olivia and Casey in the same room for five seconds. Casey says one thing to Olivia. And there’s still a squee moment.

Did the ending of the episode surprise anyone? Elliot is alone, again. The closing shot with the empty chair was a little cheesy for me. It just doesn’t do it like a badge or a newspaper article reading “No Leads on Slain ADA.” I’m sorry, that was two seasons ago. Or was it?

Casey’s blondness can’t possibly escape anyone’s eyes now. Anyone watching the scene in the squad room when Casey had her back to us, could have easily wondered “Alex?” Honestly, this problem has gone on too long.

And hey, Olivia’s back! From across…the…hall. Hm. Wasn’t “Fault” supposed to be the last episode for Olivia and the chest up camera shots? “A case so big that it will bring her back.” But she hasn’t left. I have a feeling, though, that we’re going to be going heavy on the internet crimes for the next couple of episodes. Problem is, they did the computer crimes thing on purpose. I bet that a large percentage of computer crimes involve something of a sexual nature. She could have her own spinoff: Law and Order: Computer Crimes and still be on the show more than Munch, Fin, Cragen and Casey. I don’t really see how computer crimes are easier for her to handle right now. Maybe it’s a little easier on the mind to handle the perverts that you don’t have to look at?

Over all, a big bust for SVU. So much more could have been done with the episode. And since Olivia’s supposed to be gone, she could have done us a favor and stayed gone. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been an Olivia fan since the beginning. But when you say you’re going to leave, its not polite to come back the next week and say “just kidding.” However, it does raise some interesting questions. Towards the end of that episode, Elliot didn’t seem to be as down in the dumps as he was at the beginning of the episode. Maybe a little break was all he needed.