Web

SVU Review
“Web” 7.21
May 15, 2006

Here we go again! This is the episode that will supposedly bring Mariska Hargitay, aka Olivia Benson out from hiding in Computer Crimes. The only problem is, we’re starting the episode, and Olivia hasn’t really gone away yet! She asked for a new partner in “Fault”, yet in “Fat”, the very next episode, she appears very frequently. More frequently than Munch or Fin or Casey! And she’s supposed to be gone! Is she going to have the baby on the show too?

10:11 EST, there’s a mention of Computer Crimes. That means Olivia is coming! Yay! Because we haven’t seen her for…five minutes. Those were the longest five minutes of everyone’s life, I’m sure.

Early in the episode we can tell that this teen has some issues. He’s too detached. Non-interactive. Seclusive. Is SVU going to deal with the abused becoming the abuser? Again? It’s a great emotional storyline, but we’ve seen it just one too many times.

10:22 EST: Another Computer Crimes mention. When is she coming back?! I need to see her!!

“A minor shooting kiddie porn. That’s a new one.” – Elliot.

Yeah it is! At least they are diverting from their normal take on abuser/abusee a little bit. However, Morales’s following statistic was not strategically placed. When you’re talking about child abusers and such, it’s not really a good time to stick in random internet statistics.

One of my biggest problems with this episode has to be how CSU Tech Morales was uber involved, while Munch, Fin and Casey were pretty much no where to be seen. Why is the Tech Guy getting major scenes? He’s not in the credits is he? That is not to say I want him added to the credits, no siree. But, why is the computer guy all of a sudden in on interrogations? If the squad wants to use information found by him and put him on the stand, go for it. But how about putting a lawyer in the interrogation room or how about another cop?

Also, why give the “my relative was abused” storyline to Morales? It would have been so much more interesting to see the storyline on Casey, or… Casey, since everyone else already has a connection to SVU. Furthermore, a nephew just isn’t close enough. Son, daughter, mother, father, best friend, etc. would have made for a more compelling storyline. Morales beating up the perp really did nothing more than to further upset me and wish it was Casey.

And now Elliot is taking suggestions from… Langan?! Mr. Alex-Is-Dining-With-The-Enemy Langan? Ok, honestly, if the story had fully encompassed Munch, Fin and Casey, I wouldn’t have a problem. But all of a sudden, Langan and Morales are calling the shots. Where’s Cragen with his licorice?!

“I wasn’t planning on coming back!” –Olivia
“It’s in your blood.” – Elliot
“That’s the problem.” – Olivia

Yes that IS the problem. I couldn’t tell that Olivia wasn’t planning on coming back because, yes you guessed it, she never left! She couldn’t even stay away for an entire episode. My notes immediately following Olivia’s announcement at the very end that she is “returning”, and I quote:

“WHAT THE HELL?! WHY DID YOU EVEN BOTHER?”

How, in all that is sacred in storytelling, can we explain that mess? Not only did the writers begin by botching Olivia’s absence, but it doesn’t even explain what it was meant to: Mariska’s pregnancy! “Fault” was supposed to be her last pre-baby hurrah, but instead, we got hit with a whole bunch of chest up shots (at least there weren’t anymore ornaments) and a returning Olivia. Now Wolf and Company have to come up with some (equally as stupid and pointless I’m sure) plotline that explains Mariska/Olivia’s absence. I guarantee it will be something along the lines of “On a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, undercover assignment.”

Also, why then was “Fault” largely advertised as Mariska/Olivia’s last episode before the baby boom? All this confusion and anger could have been avoided with a simple “Mariska will be with us until the end of the season.” All this in effect renders the “Fault” plot pointless. “Officer” was “down” for a period of five seconds, and the wound wasn’t even deep enough to require immediate medical attention. And it caused all sorts of unneeded problems for Elliot and Olivia’s partnership.

I think Wolf is taking the “lets see some more of their personal life” thing a little too seriously. So seriously, in fact, that an actual plot has been abandoned and replaced with “lets see how many Unstabler moments and/or Olivia emotional moments we can fit into one episode.” We do want some personal stuff, we really do. Just not this much! Bring the focus back to the cases first. None of this Elliot/Olivia saga crap. Then, after you rediscover the goodness that is seasons 1-5, start to incorporate a personal storyline in. Little things, like a Munch/ Solway scene. Only with different characters. And not the same plot.

I was also set to recommend a crossover with Conviction, but that ship has apparently sailed. That isn’t to say though that Alex couldn’t come back with another episode now that she is “officially” out of Witness Protection. Kill two birds with one stone and explain how in the world she got there!

I am still not sure what I thought of this episode. The plot was halfway decent, but it was overshadowed by the Elliot/Olivia saga. Olivia needs to make up her mind and Techie Morales needs to GO AWAY. And we need to stop writing CSU techs and CSIs and EMTs and MP3s into the storylines. Put Munch, Casey and Fin in first! Extras later.

Make up your mind, Wolf! It’s not a soap opera, it’s a crime drama!